Don 2 (2011) Movie Review

Film Critic: Goher Iqbal Punn

Star Cast – Shahrukh Khan, Priyanka Chopra, Lara Dutta, Boman Irani, Om Puri, Kunal Kapoor

Director – Farhan Akhtar

Producer – Farhan Akhtar, Ritesh Sidhwani and Shahrukh Khan

Music Director – Shankar Ehsaan Loy

Lyrics – Javed Akhtar

Genre – Action Thriller

The Don franchise is back in all its stammering, self-praising and lopsided grinning glory. Living up to its prequel, this one is high on slick quotient and has many meticulously choreographed stunts. The only grouse: Don has become cockier than ever and loves rambling lines that narrate his characteristic traits in third person- 'Don ke dushmano ko…' Yawn. We begin with a voiceover by the man himself who is now the A-PAC head of drug retailing and wholesaling and wants to spread his distribution channels across Europe. In doing so, he has to help his old enemy, Vardhaan (Boman Irani) escape from a prison in Kuala Lumpur. So Don stages his own arrest by surrendering at the KL Interpol office to the delightfully dumb investigators Roma (Priyanka Chopra) and her boss Malik (Om Puri). Soon, Don and Vardhaan have forgotten the incidents that occurred in the prequel and are plotting a major heist in icy Berlin.

And before you think that Don has outdone one and all, the Interpol in Germany informs the Kuala Lumpur office that Don and Vardhaan have been spotted in Zurich. And though no visible spots are seen on either of the gangsters, Roma and Malik are in their woolies trotting about in Berlin in the next scene. No global gangster movie is complete without a car chase, a silly disguise (a Hrithik Roshan mask!) and a few explosions here and there; so that is exactly what follows.

There are many mysteries in 'Don 2' that could leave you stumped beyond reason. Like, why does a mastermind evil genius who is wanted across the globe personally pick up his drug consignments? Lack of trust in his aides or is he just a humble man of the soil? Also, when Don walks out of a hostage situation carrying a wounded Roma in his arms, Roma's boss casually enquires, "Kya hua Roma ko?" What does he expect for an answer? Upset stomach?

While SRK's looks offer prominent signs of ageing, his acting prowess seems to be doing a Benjamin Button. Unless of course, cackling about one's might and monstrosity is Bollywood's formula for a super villain. Boman Irani is known for his razor sharp expressions but this is a first where he seems to be a bit lost about when to let out which one. Priyanka Chopra is barely there and quite rightfully so as she doesn't really foil Don's plans or do anything that would make the audience excited or anxious. Lara Dutta is perfectly sassy in all her cereal goodness and manages her part with practiced ease and confidence.

For a movie that rocks in grandeur and style, Don 2 has the logical reasoning of a 'Golmaal 5'. There's a part in the movie where Don actually convinces the German intelligence and the Interpol that he's working for them and they buy it. The verdict: The Badshah of bragging and the king of hamming is the same person and he's out there in multiplexes waiting to con you off your money. The only way to outfox him: wait for a satellite release.

Summons to 21 websites for objectionable content

New Delhi: Days after a civil court asked various websites to remove objectionable content, a Delhi court Friday issued summons to 21 websites and social networking sites including Facebook, Google, Yahoo and YouTube for allegedly hosting obscene and derogatory content.

Taking cognizance of the case on a private criminal complaint filed by journalist Vinay Rai, Metropolitan Magistrate Sudesh Kumar observed that the material submitted by the complainant contained obscene picture and derogatory articles pertaining to various Hindu gods, Prophet Mohammad and Jesus Christ.

The magistrate directed the central government to take immediate appropriate step on the objectionable contents of the sites, and file its report by Jan 13.

"It appears from a bare perusal of the documents that prima facie the accused are selling, publicly exhibiting and have put into circulation obscene, lascivious content which also appears to the prurient interests and tends to deprave and corrupt the persons who are likely to read, see or hear the same," the court said.

"It is also evident that such contents are continuously openly and freely available to everyone who is using the said network irrespective of their age and even the persons under the age of 18 years have full and uncensored access to such obscene contents," it said.

The magistrate has summoned the accused companies to face trial for allegedly committing the offence punishable under section 292 (sale of obscene books etc), 293 (sale of obscene objects to young person etc) of the Indian Penal Code (IPC).

On Monday, a civil court of Delhi had ordered these sites to remove objectionable images. More information

Former beauty queen dies at 28

Ekvall, an actress and news anchor, died Saturday after 'demonstrating extraordinary calm and courage in her fight against cancer,' Padron said, without confirming whether the body would be sent home to Venezuela. The former beauty queen wrote a book after being diagnosed with breast cancer last year and tried to raise awareness of the disease. 'Now I know what it feels like to not have a hair on your head,' she said in a Twitter posting March 10. In Venezuela, 'we invest a lot of money in looking beautiful and not in health care', the former model said. Eva was among the top five finalists for the 2001 Miss Universe Competition which also featured Indian beauty queen Celina Jaitly. The pic shows Eva on the extreme right and Jaitley on extreme left. File photo shows assistant Choreographer Lee Linderman works with Eva Ekvall, Miss Venezuela 2001, on her opening number while rehearsing during the Miss Universe 2001 contest.

 

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What does Whoop Whoop Mean?

Contrary to the beliefs of many outside the Insane Clown Posse world looking in, whoop whoop is not an ICP lyric. Nor is whoop whoop one of Insane Clown Posse's hip hop songs. And, as everyone remotely familiar with the ICP world knows, whoop whoop is not a Juggalo lyric because Juggalos are not a band; they are the Insane Clown Posse's fan base. (Though I'm sure if Juggalos did sing and therefore have lyrics, whoop whoop would occur quite often.)  There is, however, a very real connection between the Insane Clown Posse and the term whoop whoop. 

Do you know what it is?

Whoop whoop, simply enough, is just how Juggalos greet one another. In passing at concerts like the Gathering of the Juggalos, or maybe after Violent J and Shaggy 2 Dope finish rapping on stage, several whoop whoops will be exchanged. That's all!

So if whoop whoop isn't an ICP lyric, just what type of content do ICP lyrics contain?

One thing's for sure – ICP lyrics are unlike any hip hop song lyrics you've ever heard before. Steeped in horrifying imagery that often includes violence and graphic imagery, ICP lyrics are not for the faint of heart. But to only look at one side of the equation here would be misleading, because unbeknownst to many, ICP lyrics are also uplifting and inspiring at times. As you will see below, some have even treaded into the world of religion!

Hip Hop songs often get unfairly labeled as being narrow minded in term of their content, so let's take a look at how ICP lyrics in the band's hip hop songs can disprove that close mindedness.

Take the ICP lyrics in "The Unveiling" for instance. Though still a hip hop song, this song is one in which the guys in ICP announce their spiritual faith, something that had previously been concealed. Empowering ICP lyrics here include:

"When we speak of Shangri-La, what you think we mean? Truth is we follow GOD, we've always been behind him, The Carnival is God and may all Juggalos fnd him!" Those may not be typical ICP lyrics or even typical hip hop song lyrics, but they prove that positive messages to exist in the umbrella hip hop song genre. Not everything is negative. It also proves that Juggalo fans of ICP lyrics have more to them than those who despise ICP lyrics like to think. Because if they did, many Juggalos would have walked away from the Insane Clown Posse when their spiritual hip hop song, "The Unveiling," hit the scene. Instead the majority of Juggalos are still just as enamored with ICP lyrics as they were before, and continue to whoop whoop whenever they get the chance!

ICP lyrics have been the source of much controversy over the years, as have many hip hop song lyrics. However, the band has proven time and again that they are capable of writing positively-themed lyrics. To learn more about ICP lyrics, please visit http://insaneclownposse.com.

Want Poonam Pandey to strip on your mobile?

Model Poonam Pandey is best known for her stripping promise to the Indian cricket team during the World Cup. She now takes her stripping fame worldwide by signing up for a strip poker game to be available in many mobile platforms. Poonam has tied up with a US-based mobile gaming company and her game will be available for Android and iOS platforms. Commenting on her decision to strip for a mobile game, she said, “Yes, I have signed a contract with an American company. It is like the famous Teen Patti card game. They will first show my video when the game starts. As the player starts clearing various levels of the game, I will start stripping. I don't mind stripping, but to what stage I will be doing it, I can't say that now.”

While Poonam Pandey fans would like to brush up their poker skills before this game reaches app stores, Poonam is a bit hesitant to go all the way. On whether or not she would completely strip, Poonam says, “However, reaching the level where I will have to strip fully may be really tough." Poonam chuckles, adding, “I am excited because I will be exposed to such high-profile international gaming for the first time and it will help me reach out to my fans worldwide.” Her technical assistant, Micky added, “It is like gambling, just that there is no money involved here one one gets enticed by Poonam's visuals.”

Rockstar Movie Review

Cast: Ranbir Kapoor, Nargis Fakhri, Shammi Kapoor, Aditi Rao Hydari, Kumud Mishra, Piyush Mishra, Shernaz Patel, Moufid Aziz

Directed by Imtiaz Ali

Rating: *

This film says that depression, apart from making one horny, ignites the artist in one. But our lead, Janardhan Jakhar/JJ (Ranbir Kapoor) was neither adopted, nor abused as a child to feel down enough to become like his idol, Jim Morrison. So, to pursue pain, JJ flirts with college hottie and serial heart-breaker, Heer Kaul (Nargis Fakhri). He hopes to be dumped, shattered and consequently become a musical genius. But following several awkward proposals, JJ and Heer actually bond over doing wild things, which they trigger off by saying, ‘gandh machaate hain!’

While Heer is scheduled for a Kashmir marriage that would jet her off to Prague, JJ crashes her wedding but avoids clichéd Bollywood tactics of charming her parents or making a swift getaway as they’re not in love. The wedding leads to Heer’s departure, closely followed by logic departing from this feeble rock-u-drama like a ball smashed from Sachin Tendulkar’s bat. 

JJ is clobbered and thrown out of his house for attending Heer’s wedding (a crime because?) and a reason even sillier than that. Broken and hungry, JJ takes refuge at a ‘darga’ which also doubles as ‘school of Sufi music for the lesser privileged’. After two months, he also spends some time, making a living babbling bhajans (to be fair that all religions offer a chance to hone one’s musical bone?).

One montage leads to another and JJ becomes Jordan, a revolutionary solo artist, headed to Prague for a recording. Song and dance numbers to amuse the country’s tourism board follow as Jordan and Heer finally get intimate (just when we thought they’d hook up in the sequel). If Heer’s married state wasn’t rarifying enough, she also suffers from psychiatric issues and is finally diagnosed with a form of terminal bone marrow. Oh, yeah! Yeah! Yeah! Finally, an orgasm of sadness results in compositions like ‘Nadaan Parindey Ghar Aaja’, possibly dedicated to the script writers of ‘Rockstar’ who never returned to the sets.

Ranbir is committed in his disturbed desi rocker avatar and his abstention from any intoxicants makes him an idol who wouldn’t corrupt his worshipers. Nargis blends divine beauty with lips that jive like she’s in the movie, ‘Finding Nemo’.

Although the ‘Rockstar’ soundtrack is being crowned universally, Rahman’s work has become formatted. It’s like, be it a horror or an animated children’s film, Rahman will insert a minimalistic yet soulful Sufi number (*Kun Faaya Kun), one Masakali equivalent- (*Sheher Mein), one high-pitched Dil Se-esque number (*Nadaan Parindey) and a soft soothing love song (Tum Ho). Shamelessly ignoring the rock theme, only ‘Saadda Haq’ comes close to the head banging genre. Also note thatMohit Chauhan is a trained professional and do not try singing ‘Oh, yeah! Yeah! Yeah!’ at home or outdoors, unless you want to risk being certified as an imbecile.

The film’s crisp post-production and beautiful cinematography makes the screen light up to dreamy sights and the enumerable chopper shots allow a great vantage point to take in the stunning landscapes of this eastern European country.

Watching ‘Rockstar’ once is like watching it many times over, thanks to the repeated montages that sporadically recap the film. If you thought being stabbed once was bad, here’s what a knife set can do.

The film drives home an unscientific hypothesis that people who’ve endured sufferings/ heart break/ loose motions etc will reach their creative best. By this logic, each person in the audience will be blessed with superhuman creativity as they step out after watching ‘Rockstar’. Oh, yeah! Yeah! Yeah!

The Dirty Picture review

Cast: Vidya Balan, Naseeruddin Shah, Emraan Hashmi, Tusshar

Directed by Milan Luthria

Rating: ***

Many will argue that this film is filthy, lewd, sleazy and every other word that conveys the same. But since it's based on a character who embodies all these adjectives, it only ends up being a deliciously dirty tribute.

Based on the south Indian dancing diva and actress, Silk Smita's lustful life, 'The Dirty Picture' paints a concupiscent portrait, complete with bouncing love handles, blouses that resemble the barricade at the Metallica concert in Delhi (visible but unable to contain) and dialogues that are as clever as they are cocky. But a film about an A-grade dancer of B-grade repute can't really boast of cultivated conversation, right?

The film takes us into the life of a small-town girl, Reshma (Vidya Balan) who speedily escapes to uptown Madras to live her celluloid dreams. After being turned down time and again, she manages to tease the camera lens and accidently lands a dancing role opposite Superstar Suryakant (Naseeruddin Shah) with her new name, Silk. But Suryakant is only comfortable working with those who make him comfortable in the dressing room and that Silk knows just how to.

 Following several happy endings in the dressing room, Silk's career graph slides up like a python on amphetamine. As she grows in popularity, her fans grow, well, while watching her 'thumkas' on the big screen. All is well until Silk realizes the need for a real relationship. She voices her concern to Suryakant, "Raat ko barah ki sui ke tarah chipke rehte ho, aur din mein che ki tarah?" But the middle-aged superstar has his own philosophy, "Jawaani taste karne ke liye hoti hain, waste karne ke liye nahin." This doesn't add up but then do you really care?

The playful Silk is later seen playing mischievous kitty with Surya's refined brother, writer Ramakant (Tusshar) who is charmed by her mere presence. But Silk is boisterous about her sexuality and her misguided fame leads to roaring arrogance, followed by her decline. Somewhere between her descent and the end, Abraham (Emraan Hashmi) a director who has recently swung from arty to farty films, gives in to Silk's smooth arms and his bitter feelings for her become like delectable dark chocolate.

Clearly, Rajat Arora's winning dialogues will make you sit up and say, "She didn't just say that?!" I mean how often does a sex symbol get playful enough to say, "Holi khelne ka shauk hain, par teri pichkari mein dum nahin!" The only letdown here were the forced love angles especially that of Abraham whose hatred and love for Silk, both seemed misplaced.

Vidya is scrumptious as the imperfect and unrestrained Silk, while Naseer is convincing as a superstar out to play shepherd to every newcomer. Tusshar may have dropped his surname for the credits but that hardly undermines the fact that he's been cast in his home production, again. Emraan's character gives itself more importance than you or anyone else does. Luckily, his presence is limited and tolerable.

Reflecting on any period of Indian cinema will mean treading on unintentionally caricature. This is because the fundamentals of cinema and society evolve and the success mantra of the past will seem like flop recipe today. A dialogue in the film provides one such stereotype, "Iss film mein kuch alag karo. Behen ko izzat do, aur phir usse utaaro." A pure piss-take on Indian cinema, circa 1980s.